Saturday, March 22, 2014


It has been an extensive time since I’ve used this olden blog. I’ve had to clear the cobwebs, and dust the crevices from time’s accumulation of dust and neglect.

I’m incensed, so I felt I’d climb to the loft of this old room, and vent it out, like my indignation; airing it out, until the columns of dust and dirt are swept away.

What is the collateral damage born of a physician’s burn out? I can tell you some of what I know. The damage is far reaching. It’s the physician’s health, his/her livelihood, his/her family, his/her reputation, and the patients he/she cared for – left displaced with no where to turn. Finding themselves cast out; disavowed of any direction.

The establishment only knows to push and prod, insurance companies delayed and denied, paperwork protracted on, with a lintel of reports and requests. There was just an endless stream of demands, needs and wants from various portals. The system designed to crush the average man, and purview them beyond the functions achievable of mortal men. So…they crack.

I feel for these souls, depleted beyond their years. My anger lies with the management that becomes aware of these struggling individuals, and makes a lame attempt to “help” them; but instead thrusts them back in the trenches as soon as possible, with little to any truly helpful intervention. Those are the secrets they keep behind their meetings with HR and Employee Health. The burned out will become immersed in having to find their footing, and save their livelihoods for an ungrateful den of marauders, carefully hidden beneath tailored suits, and crisp white linens.

Now we all must start again; nothing familiar, safe or rewarding in the process. One is left trying to piece together a life from among the ruins, while the rest are left wondering where to turn. Not one person in the equation wins. Not one. Help needs to come sooner, and help needs to be real.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Holidays Are Coming

As the holidays approach, I struggle to get my business off the ground. I never knew how much work would go into this. I never worked retail, because I could never stand the thought of sales, and marketing and such. I shuddered at the thought.

That said, every business owner knows you have to let people know you are there. You can't just set up shop, and expect people to stop in and look around. So, I am forced in to the marketing aspect of beginning my own business.

I suppose at this stage, I am coming here to talk about the business and how it is going, and have a corner of space where I can talk about the changes that are slowly taking place. This is so not how I wanted or imagined my life to go. Not at all, but the way circumstances have fallen in my life have forced me to take a new path.

Friday, November 1, 2013

Dona Nobis Pacem

It's time for our blog blast for Peace! I joined a community of peaceful bloggers out here in blogdom about 6 yrs. ago now, I think. Every November we blog for peace. We fly our peace globes, and hope for people all around the world to join us with positive energy, and good will. We wish for peace in the world, and as we do, we quietly go about our lives hoping to be a force of good in the world. Just daily quiet warriors for peace.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

Living Strong

I spent yesterday along side a dear friend, who is battling stage 4 lung cancer. She has survived with this for 20 years! She is the most amazing person I have ever known. She dances every chance she gets, and she has been doing chemotherapy for all of those 20 yrs, in one form or another. She's gone from a full head of hair to nothingness, and then back again. She has been unstoppable.

Was I at her bedside yesterday? No. We were raising money for those suffering with blood cancers. I've had breast cancer, she lung, and we were happily raising for another quiet group that deserves so much more intentness than they receive. We desperately need cures. All of us continue on, hoping and waiting for the medical scientists to devise a cure. We need them to unlock the answers to why and how, and what to do about it.

I'm not a scientist, but I still think the answers lie somewhere within the immune system. I've known from an early age that mine was not the best. Perhaps it's all the pollution in the air, impurities in the waters, antibiotics in the food. Perhaps we should look at all the autoimmune diseases and find the commonalities, do they hold a key to those modulations that can cause cancer? If the body is constantly under attack from airborne contaminants,and other allergens, it's no wonder it's unable to sustain the fight. How can we strengthen the immune system, without causing hypersensitivity within it? Or is it the hypersensitivity that plays a role in DNA damage? What is damaging the DNA on a cellular level?

I'd love to see them find the cures in my lifetime. At least I know we can aid those on the front lines of research by raising money, and hopefully in doing so, we are assisting those who are working on a cure.

Until then, we must stay strong and keep moving forward. Live while we are here. Live life strong! We aren't gone, until we are gone. Get out there and live. Valerie Harper is an amazing example to all of us how we must keep going, and pinch in every moment with the people we love. My friend is the same, an inspiration. Yes, they cry and get depressed, but we still must do all we can while we are here. We can still use our own lives to better the lives of those around us. Live Strong!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Unwanted Change

Special thank you to Bryan Mills, for photo.

Where do I begin? Girl meets Dream Job, girl gets Dream Job, and girl loses Dream Job. Maybe that should have been the title to this posting.

I had finally found wonderful people to work for, and a prodigious male colleague to run the office with, as my counter part. Then, we are told in an email, that our office, along with 16 some other offices, would be closing. All of us ... unemployed. I felt sick.

It was a difficult blow. I spent years of my life working for this company - helping its clients, and running the center smoothly. I was thrilled to go to work for them, and it's over in one collective email. I join the ranks of many others in this country, hit by the economy, and collateral damage, compliments of the bidding wars within the corporate infrastructure. One lost contract, and you join the unemployement line.

I'm now stepping out on my own. I'm going to see if Independent Contracting is something that will work for me now. I've done it before and was repeatedly called on for my services. The difficult part, is getting my name out there to the people that would be hiring me, they need to know I am there, experienced, and available.

This economy is so bad, the best thing I think anyone can do, is put your head to work for you; think outside of the box, and start your own business. I have a handicap now, but I adapt, and if I'm working for myself ... I don't have to worry about the possible predjudices in regards to my limitations. If I can keep the pain under control, I have better use of my affected limb. To look at me you'd never know anything was wrong; it's no one's business but my own. And those of you that read this. I manage.

So, here's to unwanted change, hip hip harrah! God will put me where he wants me. I may not have wanted the change, but obviously God did. We're all where we are meant to be. I just wish I knew the game plan.